Adventures in Primary

Bishop, holding up a picture of the Salt Lake Tabernacle, asks if anyone can tell him what the building is. After several wrong guesses, he gives the answer, whereupon the girl sitting next to me leans over and says, "Oh yeah, I've been in that hibernacle." (Matt was quick to point out that the building does, indeed, become a "hibernacle" for many a warm, sleepy Conference-goer.)

Later, in class, we're talking about consequences. After discussing the effects of our choices for a moment (if you don't water a plant, it dies; if you stick a pin in a balloon, it pops, etc.), I ask the class, "What happens if I choose to stay up too late and don't get enough sleep?" They shout, "You'll overreact!"  "You'll cry!"

Smart kids. Except for the part where they thought "agency" had something to do with being a spy...

And I just have to throw this in here; there's a girl in my class who says to me every week (no typos here, this is how she says it): "My birthday is Nothember 24th, re-nem-ber???"

Gotta love those kids.

Misplaced

On any given day at our house, you might find...

...spices in your briefcase.

...silverware in the fridge.

...lip gloss in the dishwasher.

...Tupperware in the hamper.

...cans of soup in the toy basket.

...hair gel in the toilet.

...pens in the printer.

...your toothbrush in the garbage (or, you might NOT find your retainer there before it's too late).

...one self-satisfied little menace in a tiger costume:

...a silly mommy dressed as Kung Fu Panda:

Like how I tried to sneak in the Halloween pics a week and a half after the fact?

Another One of Matt's Brilliant Ideas, Part 1

Brilliant Idea #1: "Let's invite the neighbors to a pot luck dinner and offer to make the water."

Brilliant Idea #2: (while contemplating how to act while being evaluated during his seminary class): "I'll say, 'Anyone who doesn't think I am the best seminary teacher you've ever had, light your neighbor's hair on fire. Better yet, light YOUR hair on fire.' "

Honorable mention goes to Matt's brother Mike for his solution to the current economic crisis: "Sell California. I'm sure Japan would buy it."

On wearing a patch

Back at Truman's 12-month well baby visit, our pediatrician suggested that we go see a pediatric eye doctor. 

For two months I put off making the appointment.

By the time I got around to making the call, they were scheduling two and a half weeks out.

When we got to the office, we waited for 20 minutes before filling out any paperwork. (Of the half-dozen other kids in the waiting room, most were wearing glasses, and one had a patch. Cute for Halloween, but...not for my opinionated little pirate-in-embryo.)

We waited another 20 minutes to have two drops put in his eyes.

We were told to leave and come back 45 minutes later once his eyes were dilated.

We left. We came back. Truman fell asleep. We woke him up. We waited for the doctor to come in.

He came in for two minutes and made some "pss pss" noises while shining a light in Truman's eyes.

And finally, two and a half hours after we first arrived, we received the grim pronouncement:

"His eyes are perfect."

I guess it's worth a $35 co-pay and a long afternoon to know for sure, huh?

Stay tuned for the first edition of "Another One of Matt's Brilliant Ideas," coming soon...

Curious

I've decided that watching Curious George stresses me out. For starters, George is always getting confused about things, making a mess, forgetting – all of which are painful realities in my own life that I am trying to avoid and/or keep a lid on. Today he was babysitting a kitten. A monkey babysitting a kitten? Stressful. 

Secondly, what is with the Man in the Yellow Hat? Does it bother anyone else that a grown, nameless man insists on being clothed entirely in yellow and that his closest friend in the world is his pet monkey? (Don't you need a special permit to even own an exotic pet like a monkey?) And what kind of job does the Man have that lets him dig for and assemble dinosaur bones, explore Antarctica, and travel in space? And WHY does he leave George alone, ever?

These are the burning questions, folks.

In other news, a few things I'm grateful for lately: 1) Our computer died last week and then miraculously resurrected. Hallelujah! 2) Working kitchen lights. We do not have these at the moment as our fluorescent bulbs are burned out, but I am grateful for the days when they did function (and anxiously anticipate the return of those days). 3) One adorable baby boy. Look at this face:

I am in love. 

Questions You Don't Want to Hear from Your Primary Class...

...all in one day:

My mom told me to ask you - was Jesus married?

Can I have some more Skittles?

Do the devil's angels look like God's angels? How do you tell the difference?

Want to trade shoes?

Can I have some more Skittles?

Why does my belly button make this waxy stuff? Is it wax? Why does it hurt to pull it out?

Can I wear your earrings?

Don't angels have wings and halos? How do they fly without WINGS?

Can I have some more Skittles?

If he hits me and we're following the Golden Rule, when do I get to hit him back?

Can I have some more Skittles?

Where did that nap go?

I do this thing when I sit down to the computer - I tell myself, "Okay, I'm only getting on here for FOUR MINUTES. Just long enough to check my email, shoot a reply to that friend about tonight...oh yeah, I was going to read that new post on my family's site, and maybe I'll just take a quick peek at Matt's family's blog to see if there's anything new...well I HAVE to reply to this post...hey I wonder if this link she's got up here is any good...and has anyone made more comments on my blog? No? Must be time for a new post then..."

And here I am, 21 minutes past my self-imposed deadline, wasting precious nap time as I, apparently, try to make it to the end of the Internet.

No sense going to heck holding back, so I'll continue.

I went to the dentist this week, and it was pretty brutal. At first he's just showing me how to floss (evidently from the condition of my gums he thought I didn't know how!) and slides the floss between my front tooth and my gum, but then he ties a knot in the thread and begins PULLING this knot back and forth - not between the teeth, mind you, but between the tooth and the gum. My eyes welled up with tears and blood poured from my front teeth. I wasn't much interested in listening to the rest of his shpiel about oral hygiene; instead I was focused on using my tongue for compression against the open wound in my mouth and praying he wouldn't come at me with that knot again. He did.

Matt called him a 'knothead' when we got home, an expression I had never heard before but which, I guess, is a perennial favorite from my father-in-law.

29 minutes past.

I just got an email about a film that is being released tomorrow called Forever Strong. Apparently it's about an LDS seminary-teacher-turned-rugby-coach and is being touted as very uplifting and inspiring. I'm interested in the rare movie that fits that description, so maybe I'll check it out.

And at 34 minutes past the hour, I'm out.