You may have noticed (or not) that we didn't send Christmas cards this year. My excuse is that I just had a baby which, I'm finding, is a great excuse for a lot of things.
"Oh, you need volunteers for the blood drive? Sorry, I just had a baby."
"I'm not going to be able to wait in this long food line. Can I cut to the front? See, I just had a baby."
"You like my stretchy pants? I won't be wearing real clothes for a while, because I just had a baby."
"Honey, I'm going to nap while you wrangle the monkeys we call our offspring. I'm soooooo tired since I just had a baby."
Also, I was thinking today as I arranged for display the Christmas cards I have received (and this is with NO ill-will or finger-pointing to those who have sent them, just an observation as one who has sent and will continue to send such cards), "When did it become a tradition to send pictures of yourself to your friends and family for Christmas? Like this is your gift to them? Photos of you?"
In other words, "Oh, did you want a Christmas card from the Johnsons this year? So you could treasure a photo of me weighing more than I have in over a decade? Sorry, not going to happen. You see, I just had a baby."
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Not the birth story
Since I didn't bore the blogosphere with details about my first two births, I'm not about to go ruining my record now. (Ironically, I love reading other people's birth stories.) Suffice it to say that Peter's was my roughest delivery yet, but only because he was posterior and I had to push more than five times. And the labor was only about three hours start to finish -- with a perfect epidural -- so I certainly won't complain!
In fact, complaining is about the last thing I ever want to do again. I can feel that my life is so good, and I can also feel it slipping through my fingers: when I watch Truman walk through the door to his preschool, too-big backpack slipping off of him; when I realize Caleb is so heavy I can hardly hoist him over the crib rail to put him down for a nap; when I try to remember what my older boys were like at Peter's age and the memories, so recent, are already dim.
I've cried blessed little since Peter was born, but in two- or three-minute bursts it comes out. Motherhood will break your heart, one way or another. There is a certain anguish in loving a little person so much and knowing that, in some ways, you will fail him. And with the addition of our third little boy, I feel sometimes like my heart might burst from loving him AND the other two so much -- and, lest I forget, the good good man I married. My love for him has grown with each baby too.
So, no birth story. But man, it's a good life.
In fact, complaining is about the last thing I ever want to do again. I can feel that my life is so good, and I can also feel it slipping through my fingers: when I watch Truman walk through the door to his preschool, too-big backpack slipping off of him; when I realize Caleb is so heavy I can hardly hoist him over the crib rail to put him down for a nap; when I try to remember what my older boys were like at Peter's age and the memories, so recent, are already dim.
I've cried blessed little since Peter was born, but in two- or three-minute bursts it comes out. Motherhood will break your heart, one way or another. There is a certain anguish in loving a little person so much and knowing that, in some ways, you will fail him. And with the addition of our third little boy, I feel sometimes like my heart might burst from loving him AND the other two so much -- and, lest I forget, the good good man I married. My love for him has grown with each baby too.
So, no birth story. But man, it's a good life.
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