A Mother's Alphabet

I've decided to start using the 2 a.m. feeding for blog brainstorming (blogstorming, as Matt would say), and this idea came to me in a flash of brilliance (okay, more like a glimmer of consciousness) during the wii hours of this morning...

A is for Awake. You never realized you could spend so many of your 24 hours in this state.
B is for Breastfeeding. Again, you never realized you could spend so many of your 24 hours in this state.
C is for Crib. Notice that this is Mother's Alphabet, not Baby's. He does not acknowledge the existence of this item, much less enjoy sleeping in it.
D is for Diapers. Always more and more and more of them.
E is for Everywhere. This is the location of all of your things that used to have A Place. E could also be for Entropy.
F is for Family. Now that you've added the little one, it feels 'official.'
G is for Grin. Sometimes if you're lucky, you get one - all gums. So cute!
H is for Hiccups. Baby will get these the moment he is laid in 'C' above.
I is for Instincts. One minute you've got 'em, the next minute you don't.
J is for Joy. What you feel when you realize this is your baby, and you get to keep him forever.
K is for Kisses. Can't seem to give him enough.
L is for Laughter...at yourself as you realize you just got pee in your hair.
M is for Mommy, that new name you try out when looking in the mirror.
N is for Noise. White, preferably, to keep that boy asleep.
O is for Ointments of various varieties.
P is for Poop. And lots of it.
Q is for Quiet. VERY VERY quiet when you need to sneak into Baby's room to retrieve some forgotten article.
R is for Remember. You can't do this anymore once you've had a baby, but you can vaguely recall what it was like when you could.
S is for Swaddle, Side-lying, Shushing, Swaying, and Sucking. These "5 S's" have saved our lives.
T is for Trial and error. You realize you're going to do a lot of that.
U is for Uh-oh, somebody just had a diaper blowout again, and it wasn't me.
V is for Vermin. They will get in your house and you will want to destroy them.
W is for Wash, meaning laundry. Vast loads of light blue laundry.
X is for X-ray vision. Wish you had it to see if that diaper needs changing again. Maybe it comes when your child is older, along with magical, face-cleaning spit and eyes in the back of your head.
Y is for Yawn. Enough said.
Z is for Z's. How you miss them, but this Mother stuff is totally worth it.

And His Name's Not Mickey

We have a mouse.

And despite my childhood love for and mild obsession with Fievel Mouskewiz of "An American Tail" fame, I want this mouse to die...much like the other unsuspecting spiders, bees, box elder bugs, etc. upon whom I used to shower my pity by letting outside. But ever since I had this baby, I'd just as soon obliterate the pests as look at them.

What bothers me most is the way this mouse scurries out in the middle of the floor right in broad daylight - while I am glued to my chair nursing a baby, of course. It's taunting me. It even tried to BITE me. (I was dozing, sitting up, on the couch, and it tried to take a taste of my little toe. It didn't break the skin.) At 2:30 this morning, I watched helplessly (nursing again) through squinting eyes (I didn't have my glasses on) as a gray blur traced a path around and around my kitchen. I can only hope he isn't finding much to eat in there, but given the current state of my kitchen floor, he's probably become the caterer for a whole little mouse village.

I admit that memories of "The Rescuers" (they were mice, right?), Cinderella's Gus-Gus, and the aforementioned Mouskewiz family almost make me want to live-and-let-live -- but unless I decide to make him a pet (sorry, Kirst), I'm afraid it's time to buy some traps and send this Mickey Mouse to the big Disneyland in the sky.

Numerology

3 hours of sleep I got last night.
2 interrupted naps I have attempted to take.
17 times I have nursed my child in a 24-hour period.
842 times I cursed myself last night for 'training' my six-week-old to need to nurse to put himself back to sleep.
1 tearful phone call to my mother.
9,768 minutes (approximately) the said six-week-old spent screaming his head off today as I tried to teach him to love his binky. I know the math doesn't work out, but trust me, that's how long it was.
0 things on my to-do list I got done today.
37 times I reminded myself this is all going to be worth it if I don't have to nurse every hour.
6 times I wished I had something to blog about besides my new-mommy woes.
1 resolution to blog anyway.
4 times Matt saved my life today by rescuing me from my red-faced screamer - and telling me I'm still a good mom.

Crazy Eights

I know these 'get-to-know-you' posts can be epic, but I promised. This one's for you, Alicia.

8 Things I'm Passionate About
1. Making lists
2. Taking good care of my baby
3. Cub Scouts (note that I didn't say whether I was for or against...)
4. Music
5. Spelling things correctly
6. Not making a fool of myself - I have limited success in this area
7. Doing the right thing
8. Remembering birthdays

8 Things I want to do before I die
1. Learn to cook one really good fancy meal
2. Visit Greece
3. Actually attempt some family history research
4. Go on a mission
5. Stop caring about losing that last ten pounds
6. Sew something useful and give it as a gift
7. Learn Spanish
8. Sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

8 Things I say often
1. "Do you know what I mean?"
2. "I love you."
3. "Are you hungry AGAIN, Truman?"
4. "Guess what?"
5. "Like..."
6. "What's for dinner?"
7. "Alas, and a laddie"
8. "In any case..."

8 Books I've recently read
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
2. Mere Christianity
3. Running With Angels
4. Jane Eyre
5. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
6. For One Day More
7. 1776 (I haven't finished)
8. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over
1. "Home," Michael Buble
2. "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant," Billy Joel
3. "This is the Christ"
4. "Everything," also Michael Buble
5. "The Prayer," Josh Groban & Charlotte Church
6. "Skin," Rascal Flatts
7. "Throw it All Away," Toad the Wet Sprocket
8. "Homeward Bound"

8 Things that Attract Me to My Best Friends
1. A smart sense of humor
2. Purposely not saying something mean about someone when it would be sooo easy to say
3. A phone call on my birthday
4. Being just a little nerdy
5. Putting me in my place when I need it
6. They remind me that I have a good life
7. Forgiving me when I put my foot in my mouth
8. Knowing which secrets to keep and which to share

8 things I've learned in the last year
1. You think you're ready to be a parent, and then...WHAMO!
2. Being married to Matt is absolute joy
3. You shouldn't try to make cookies out of a Jiffy banana muffin mix (sorry, Mike & Amy)
4. You get out of church meetings what you put into them
5. You will become your mother, whether you like it or not
6. Sometimes it's uncomfortable becoming who I am supposed to be rather than who I want to be
7. I would hate working full-time the rest of my life
8. I love my parents more than I ever thought I could...and I owe them more than I can ever pay

8 People that I think should do "8" (in no particular order)
1. Talitha
2. Kirsten
3. Mark
4. Kari
5. Alisa
6. Sonja
7. Jon
8. Angie

Books I should write now that I have a child

How to Look Like You've Had a Shower Today

Swaddle This: When You Want to Give Away Your Colicky Newborn

Proper Care and Styling of Your Long Leg Hair

Cook Like a Pirate: A Guide to Preparing (and Eating) Fabulous Meals Even with the Use of Only One Arm

The New Mom's New 'do: Styles to Keep Your Hair Out of Pee's Way

Don't Zip Your Jeans
And other tips to 'stretch' that pre-pregnancy wardrobe

WHO'S Your Mommy? (Sequel to the best-seller 'So This Kid's Mother is Really Never Coming to Get Him')

Even Though You Feel Like a Big Boob, You Don't Have to Act Like One