Thank heavens, I've been tagged!

The proverbial blog-well was running dry, but thanks to Alicia, I now have something to blog about.

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago: I was in eighth grade. I weighed about 50 pounds more than I do now, and I had braces and BIG bangs. It wasn't pretty. On a typical day I could be found wearing an over sized Nike t-shirt, flirting with Joe Forrester, and getting much-needed after-school help in algebra from a teacher who looked like he came straight out of a Dr. Seuss book.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Clean the tub.
2. Attend a presidency meeting.
3. Buy groceries.
4. Pay the health insurance bill.
5. Make a phone call to a sister in the ward about some Chinese translation (and you thought they were all going to be boring!).

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. Cereal
2. Chips and dip
3. Cookies
4. Peanut butter and jelly on toast
5. Hot chocolate

What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: I would buy houses. One for us, of course, but then one for each of my siblings and my husband's siblings. I might even buy/build a huge family compound. And I would probably stop stressing about the grocery budget!

5 places I have lived:
1. Aurora, CO
2. Provo, UT
3. Orem, UT
4. That's it.
5. I haven't lived anywhere else - yet.

5 jobs that I have had:
1. Catch-all catering assistant/waitress/gopher
2. Nanny
3. Human Resources assistant
4. Writing Fellow/TA
5. Student Services/Scholarships guru

5 Things people don't know about me:
1. I used to write poems for EVERYTHING. My family joked that every time they got a birthday card from me, there was a poem inside. It was true until I was probably 12 or 13.
2. My middle name is Kate, and I really like it.
3. The first time I ever set foot in my in-laws' house - before I had even been on a date with my husband - I got the strangest but most pleasant feeling, like I was coming home.
4. I desperately wanted to be a child star and act in commercials/movies. I used to beg my mom to get me an agent. Thanks for never caving, Mom!
5. If I wasn't blessed to be a Mormon, I have a feeling I would have ended up a bra-burning, hybrid-driving, Hillary-supporting, raging feminist liberal.

I tag 1. Carly 2. Angie 3. Vanessa

SHORT!

I got my hair cut on Monday, and you can see from my expression that I'm still deciding how I feel about it. Loved it for the first twenty minutes, started to feel iffy about it, then loathed it, and now I'm back to feeling okay again. Matt is a gem to say he really likes it, even if he doesn't. I'm choosing to believe that he does. His eternally-optimistic attitude is rubbing off on me.

Unlikely as it might seem, my thoughts about the haircut segue nicely into something else I've been thinking about lately: balance. Here, I was going for that delicate balance between feminine and practical. But what about other, more consequential problems that also require a fair degree of finesse (hair-product reference totally unintentional)?

How do I, for example...

• manage our finances so that we are neither spendthrifts nor misers?
• get enough "me time" to thrive but not become overly self-absorbed?
• simultaneously and adequately maintain my body, spirit, mind and relationships - as well as nurture, when needed, those of my husband and child?
• give meaningful service without becoming a martyr?

Moderation is a tightrope off of which I continually find myself falling.

And yet, back to the hair analogy, even if I had been way off the mark with this style (and who knows? Maybe I am.), the hair will grow (I just mistyped 'fro' - yes, it will do that too) and I will have many more chances to strike that balance that is just right for me.

So like everything else, I guess my hair and my finances and all of it are just parts of my life's grand balancing act. And though I feel typically uncomfortable with the idea that I don't have this stuff anywhere near mastered yet, I am learning to accept the learning experiences as they come - and to shy away from scissors when necessary.

On Holiday

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to those of us who still remember it as such, and for the politically-correct at heart, a very Merry Civil Rights Day to you.

I am particularly grateful for the holiday this year, but maybe not for the reasons I should be; mostly I'm thrilled that it gave Matt the day off to stay home and hang out with me. Since he didn't have to get up early this morning, we stayed up last night playing games and laughing ourselves silly like we haven't in a long time. After a few rounds of Boggle (we are a frustratingly even match), TriBond (he's better) and Crack the Case (he's WAAAY better), I couldn't help but smile my way to sleep. It was easily one of my favorite days of my married life.

Thanks, honey, for suggesting that we spend some time together, for letting me sleep in this snowy morning, and for washing all those dishes (at least, I think that's what you're doing in the kitchen right now).

So, may you all do something fun for your MLK-Civil Rights Day, and if it's any good, leave a comment for everyone to enjoy. Happy Holiday!

Going for the Gold

Making a trip to Costco is a lot of things, but it's nothing like running a regular errand. It's more like training for an Olympic event.

Strength: You'll need some serious muscles to hoist that three-gallon vat of Mayo into your cart, and even more to lift the canoe-sized box they put it in at the checkout line - if you're lucky enough to get a box, that is.

Endurance: So you might have to wait twenty minutes for the old lady at the sample table to thaw out some more coveted Jamaican Jerk meatballs. So nobody ever got anything by giving up! Stick to your guns, men!

Willpower: You really don't need a box of 600 granola bars...but man, when they're stacked so pretty in an on-sale pyramid like that, it sure feels like you do.

Speed: A must-have in the parking lot and especially near the gas pumps. Prepare to slow down once you enter the store though, as the speed limit inside Costco is a strictly-enforced 25 feet per minute.

Agility: Not everyone can maneuver an industrial-sized shopping cart between gaggles of sample-hungry kids and slow-moving old folks, all with a giant blind spot created by the infant carrier. Watch out for wandering toddlers!

Grit: This is perhaps the most important attribute needed to succeed at The Costco Games. Used in events such as Grab the Last Box of Dino Nuggets, There's-the-Shortest-Checkout-Line Bumper Carts, and No Honey - We Are Not Getting A Big Screen TV.

May the best man win!

In my dreams

Last night found me sitting in my old Sunday School class at home in Colorado, being interviewed by a local news station. They had told me earlier that my family had been killed that week (I don't know how, but I was devastated), and the station was now following up with me about the grieving process.
At the end of the interview, the news anchor woman informed me that my family actually WASN'T dead, she was just conducting some research about the pain involved in losing someone close. "We've found that losing a spouse is most like being bitten by a dog, whereas losing a child is a lot like being repeatedly stung by a bee. So do you think we should start using icons like this in our newscast?" She produced an orange birthday cake decorated with a bee and with four blue candles perched on one corner. I grabbed the cake and shouted, "NO!!! You guys are insane! I can't believe you idiots made me think my family was dead for this!" and then ran out of the room.

Then the baby woke up, so I fed him and put him back to sleep.

I returned to bed only to be confronted by my sister-in-law, who was irate that she had missed a really good deal at Kentucky Fried Chicken. She was thrilled, however, to present her husband with $5 in cash, which represented all the money they had left after paying the bills for that month. They stood hugging and crying in their kitchen, and I bowed out, confused.

Then baby woke up again.

Back to bed for the third time. Now I was on a bus of rowdy teenagers, and I was one again too. We were on our way up to some kind of camp, and I didn't know a soul. Next thing I knew we were all wearing bright green t-shirts and hiking up a really steep hill. I realized with horror that my shorts were very, very short and that I hadn't shaved my legs in a long time. By the time I reached the camp itself, there were only a few people milling around as I tried to figure out where to go. I found out from a short, dark-haired girl that we were all assigned to teams - well, all except for me and one blond girl standing close by.
So the blond girl approached the adult leader of a group of boys who were playing soccer in a big quad area. She explained that she needed a team, and the man stopped the game and asked everyone who wanted her on their team. All of the hands around the quad went up, and she joined a team. I figured that didn't look too hard, so I also went up to the man and asked for a team. He again stopped the game. But this time, after he got everyone's attention, he shook his head meaningfully. "Who wants this one?" Silence. No hands went up. The dark-haired girl who had helped me before burst into tears and sobbed something about how the man wouldn't let anyone volunteer to have me on their team. "But he's the one who looks stupid, not you." To that I replied, "Yeah, at least I don't have a word partly shaved into the back of my head." The mean man, who did have the letters BL shaved on one side of the back of his head, pointed at me and said "You will NOT be attending the opening ceremonies." I was just sticking my tongue out at him when...you guessed it: baby woke up again.

Between those nutty dreams and getting up three times with the boy, I feel like I didn't sleep a wink!

Snippets

Just some stuff I've been thinking about:

Yesterday my friend jokingly asked me in an email about my hopes and dreams. Her question threw me for a loop, because I don't really think about that stuff anymore the way I used to. I used to think "Well, I hope someday to get married in the temple and to be able to stay home with my kids."

Since that's exactly what I have done/am doing (minus the plural kids part, since I've just got the one), in a way I am thrilled to report that I am living my hopes and dreams. But I'm also unsettled by the fact that I didn't get any further than that in my plans. After all, how do you know you're getting anywhere if you don't know where you're going? I'll have to give this some more thought...

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If my baby can be rejuvenated by only thirty-minute naps, I'd sure better learn to be as well. And take up some projects that require no more than half an hour.

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Being organized means more than being methodical. I heard my sister say something like this once, and I'm beginning to catch her vision. Sure, I can be productive when no one messes up my routine, but I get all confused and out-of-sorts when things don't go just the way I planned. Flexibility is a true mark of efficiency and organization. This is starting to wax a little philosophical, so...

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...I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss Cub Scouts. I am getting released just as soon as they can find someone to replace me, and I'm feeling that mixture of remorse and relief that comes with wishing I'd done a better job but being grateful I don't have to do it anymore. :)

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Sun-dried tomatoes look a lot grosser in the jar than they do in bread or pasta. I had to hide them out of sight in our fridge because just looking at them made me sick.

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Time really does fly. I am sitting here with the five-month-old boy on my lap, hardly able to grasp the fact that I carried and delivered him. And I've been a mom for five months. Sometimes I forget and think I'm still 18. How did this happen, and so fast?

Looking self-satisfied after his blowout this afternoon. Which brings me to my last profound thought: I'd pay a lot of money to someone who invented the diaper that could contain my child's poop. We're thinking about switching to Depends.

As seen on the back of my Johnson & Johnson Head-to-Toe Baby Wash:

Safety Tip: Keep out of reach of children

Uh...are ya kiddin' me?

LYE

Not to be confused with the caustic chemical used in making soap, LYE refers to my new philosophy about life: Lower Your Expectations.

I got the idea from my mom one day during a tearful phone call about how my house was (is) a mess, my baby wouldn't (won't) sleep, and my bed wasn't (isn't) made. Actually, my baby IS asleep at the moment and my bed does happen to be made, but we'll get to that.

Anyway, my mom said, "So your bed isn't made. So what? I heard a story about this very happy woman who, when asked why she was so happy, said 'I've lowered my expectations.' It's hard to do, but you can do it!"

I've thought a lot about this idea, and I have to say I'm beginning to wholeheartedly agree.

Now I'm not advocating that I shouldn't require anything of myself (or others), but as one who chronically expects super-human feats from just about everything with a pulse, I think it would be wise for me to just chill out and LYE a little - while still doing the best I can.

And for the record, the "best I can" on most days means taking a shower and keeping the baby alive.

So no more crying over the unmade bed, no more nail-biting, guilt-ridden angst over the unfinished scrapbooks, no more bemoaning my lack of artistic/sewing/gardening/cooking talent. No more 'shoulding' on myself, as it were.

So how is it that the bed is made, dishes done, laundry humming, baby asleep right now? Just a lucky day, I guess. I had the energy for it, baby cooperated, and my 'best' today included those things.

But absolutely no promises about tomorrow. And that's a LYE.

New Year

Clearly, December got away from me. I didn't post even once last month. But today is a day for new beginnings, so here I am, back at it, in time for a necessary (albeit somewhat boring) update:

I spent two glorious weeks at home in Colorado with my parents - Matt was there for just the first week, and Truman and I missed him when he was gone. I got to see some old friends and spend some much-needed time with my little sister. And I loved showing off my baby to anyone who would let me. The family took excellent care of us, mostly by providing a never-ending supply of food; thus, I will be spending the majority of 2008 trying to work off the last two weeks of 2007. I also enjoyed my first white Christmas in years, waking up on Christmas morning to thickly falling snow. It was quite picturesque.

At one point during the trip, I was lamenting the fact that I had forgotten Truman's "Baby's First Christmas" outfit - I'd been planning on dressing him in it for Christmas morning since before he was born. So my mom secretly bought him this:
...which Matt put on him to surprise me just before we opened presents. Speaking of which, the boy got presents from both sets of grandparents, but zero from us. I told him to get used to it.

Now that we're all back together in Utah, I have all kinds of plans and goals for the new year. I would list a few of them here, but that would make me accountable for a lot more than I am comfortable with. So suffice it to say that I am beginning 2008 with the best of intentions but the lowest of expectations. Happy New Year!