Payoffs Part II

The important questions:
"Mom, what sport are you gonna be when you're gonna be a player? If the football guys hit you in the face, do they have to have a time out?"

"When you were a big boy and I'm was a mommy, could you not break the slide?"

"Wuh...wuh...wuh...woot beer. Mom, does woot beer start with a W?"

"Where's daddy's machine for his face [electric razor]? I'm just gonna use it to get the pokeys off your leg, okay Mom?"

"Who just puts gas in my diaper?"

"Do you want to help me finish my ice cream juice [melted ice cream at the bottom of the bowl]?"

In his dreams:
"You hath to wear a cape or you can't fly when you're Supermom in your dreams."

"There was a voice in my blue dream."

"Mom, in my dream you were playing a game and the robot taked your hand. I think he doesn't like arms on people."

"In my bad dreams, I'm was shooting a gun and I shooted my head off and my arms."

Trumanisms:
"To infinilly and beyond!"
"lellipop"
"It's my turn to sing the prayer."
"Light Me a Queen" (Lightning McQueen)

How could I possibly keep this stuff to myself?

The Up Side of the Flu

And you thought there WAS no upside to the stomach flu (other than the up-chucking part, which we also had...) but here's why this bout really could have been worse:

1) Matt came home from work early yesterday and stayed home again today, so I've seen more of my husband in the last 36 hours than in the last three weeks combined.

2) The total bliss of feeling normal again after only 12 hours of wanting to turn myself inside out.

3) Little Caesar's and donuts for dinner tonight - after all, I was still too weak to cook, and we were trying to make up for lost calories.

4) I could no longer avoid washing Truman's sheets. And blankets. And dust ruffle. And carpet.

5) Matt's virtual golf swing is really showing some improvement, thanks to Tiger Woods 2011 for the Wii.

6) Caleb didn't get sick. At least, we don't think he did. He never threw up, anyway.

7) Something to blog about.

Payoffs

There is something really satisfying about knowing that I have kept my older child alive for more than three years to have him say things like this:

"I don't like these grapes." Why not? "Because they are so good for me."

"What happens if you don't have any fingers? How do you play the piano? You use your body? Or your toes? That would be SO HARD!"

"What happens if [this is a recurring theme] you...
...go too many places?"
...eat your cereal all gone?"
...go downstairs?"
...turn off the TV?" [Do these questions even have answers? Is he trying to drive me nuts?]

"Hey Mom, guess what? What's your name Brittany?" Brittany. "Oh. Hey Mom, guess what? What's your name Brittany?" Brittany "Oh. Hey Mom, guess what? What's your name Brittany?" Grrrrrr.....

"Please bless us to not do dangerous things..."

"When I'm was born, there was a giant tomato. Giant tomatoes are just a little bit scary."

When Mommy felt a sharp pain in her leg while doing her makeup: "I'm just pulling hairs out of your leg."

Mommy: "Do you have your shoes on yet?"
Truman: "I don't think so. I just have toes and feet."

"The whale didn't eat the chef. But it did eat Jonah. And then the whale spit him back out again. But not the chef."

At 4 in the morning: "Mom? Mom?! MOM! Does the doctor doesn't live at the cavin [cabin]?"


And this is just a small sampling. Ah yes, that's my boy.

Spinning Plates

Last night when Matt came home, I told him my new system for housecleaning: clean whatever is bugging you the most at the moment. He agreed and told me an analogy he heard twice in his Seminary inservice yesterday (two witnesses, right?), originally shared by Boyd K. Packer. When asked how we can possibly do all that is required of us given limited time in our lives, President Packer replied that we should think of ourselves as the plate-spinning guy at the circus. Which plate does he spin? The one that needs spinning. And what if we find that we're doing the best we can but there are still plates crashing to the floor? Too many plates!

Clearly, I shattered the 'blogging plate' about three months ago, and I'm okay with that.

Easter

Since I never watch the news, the weather always takes me by surprise. So I had no idea that it would be snowing today and that Truman and I would be going stir-crazy looking for things to do. Enter our rescue: this cooking blog, newly purchased cake pans (from ye olde Deseret Industries, no less), and a little boy just begging to lick the beaters, and voila! Cute AND delicious, if I do say so myself. Thanks for the idea, Alicia!

Good thing I snapped this picture when I did, because by the time I got back to the kitchen after putting away the camera, Truman had licked (yes, licked) the nose off of our bunny.

I do sort of hate the fact that Easter is so overly-commercialized, completely about bunnies and chicks without even a teeny mention of why it's a holiday. At least at Christmastime, the world as a whole seems to talk about 'peace on earth, goodwill to men.' Easter has become more about the division between those who love and those who hate marshmallow Peeps. (For the record: hate. Sorry, Alicia.)

But in all seriousness, at church last Sunday I heard a powerful testimony about the reality of the Resurrection, and I felt it. I know that Christ was literally resurrected and that because He was, I will be too. As the Primary song says:

And there were nail prints in His hands
And a spear wound in His side
Did Jesus really live again
After He had died?
Oh yes! And so shall I!

And that's a gift worth celebrating at this Easter season - a time of new life, seen in bunnies and chicks; growth on the trees and in ourselves; rebirth for the individual and for all mankind.

On gas, Nancy Pelosi and sugar highs

For the record, the answer was D. And yes, I did have all those dreams in one night.

So I hear people complaining about a lot of things these days (not the least of which is the health care law - did we all hear Nancy Pelosi say "we have to pass the bill so we can see what's in it!"?? *choke*GAG*), but I rarely hear anyone talking about gas prices anymore. Except me. Remember when we were all in a dither about gas at $2 a gallon? And then we thought we had seen the worst when it topped $3? And how we ACTUALLY STARTED DRIVING LESS once it rocketed to $4? And those glorious few moments when it dropped down to a buck fifty?

When I passed my local gas station two weeks ago, gas was $2.67 a gallon. Last week it was $2.79. This week, $2.89. Frankly, I'm starting to panic, and I'm beginning to wonder if health care is just a magician's diversion to keep me from noticing when I have to literally start lighting hundred-dollar bills on fire to keep my car running. Anyone? Anyone?

***
Yesterday I was taking a much-needed morning nap when Truman came in (as he does every four minutes when I am trying to nap) and announced "My hands are all sticky." The child was covered head-to-toe in sugar. Crystallized to his pants and hands and face by saliva, forming a glistening goatee. The picture doesn't do it justice. And he was SO pleased with himself, because all he ever wants is to eat sugar straight out of the bucket. A dream fulfilled.



And just because they are adorable (and I so rarely post pictures), my BYU boys. Even if the Cougs did lose...

Multiple Choice

Last night, which of the following was I doing?

a) Frantically swimming around in a pool filled with dead seals and live sharks, where I lost my watch but found a toy boat;

b) Enjoying being a member of 24's CTU, pursuing terrorists through elevator shafts with none other than Jack Bauer, an old work friend, and a girl I haven't seen since elementary school (all of whom were talking in code and carrying really ridiculously-oversized lollipops);

c) Working with a team of big-wig scientists scrambling to create a contraption that would allow us to decipher the vibrations coming from a large boulder in South Africa - which, when completed and tested, revealed that the vibrations were saying "iniquity" and therefore an indication that the Second Coming was upon us, as Earth herself was bemoaning the iniquitous state of the human race;

d) all of the above.