I've decided that growing up fat really had its advantages. I sure didn't think so at the time, but consider the post-chub blessings:
With the exception of my pregnancy with Truman, my weight has gone only one (general) direction since I was 15: down.
Even when I was nine months pregnant, I still weighed about 25 pounds less than my heaviest in high school. True story. By middle school standards, I was svelt!
I didn't get acne until after I lost the weight (and you're thinking, "Huh?"). I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father decided it would be just too much for one girl to be overweight and have braces, glasses, unruly curly hair (with bangs!) AND acne all at the same time. I still can't quite shake the acne though...
No post-baby hysteria about the way my body looked, at least not really; stretch marks? Had those already. Saggy skin? Check. Flabby abs? My best friends. It was like I'd already had a baby before I had one. A big, slowly-delivered, 60-pound baby.
My parents didn't have to worry about my breaking curfew or question my morality until I was almost out of the house, because I wasn't getting asked out on dates until then! I'm not being tongue-in-cheek at all here; it really was a blessing for all of us...in the long run.
On the serious side, I think having a problem that was so visible and easily-mocked all my life made me a more compassionate person. Plus I tried harder to develop my social skills and my brain to compensate for what I felt like I lacked physically.
Most importantly, those years taught me an appreciation for my body no matter its size. I really had to learn to accept and acknowledge qualities that made me beautiful on the inside until eventually I felt beautiful on the outside. I had to be willing to accept where I was - and the frightening thought that I might always be that way - before I could move on and change it.
24 comments:
Brittany, we have to talk. I'm intrigued by your story, especially since I firmly believe in what you said in your last paragraph. You must like what you are at any size and accept the fact that this might never change before you can make any lasting difference in yourself. I really would like to talk to you about your journey. Thanks for sharing this great post.
fat has blessings? you are rad.
i love you.
i hear you on the acne.
i had HORRIBLE acne as a teenager. i'm telling you, it was awful. not just my face, my entire body.it took me a really long time to come to terms with it.
i still have acne now, not nearly as bad. however, i'm dealing with the scars now as i get older.
AWESOME.
i've never been "fat" i guess. but, have always struggled with accepting my body as it is. i pick it apart. i really like what you said in the last paragraph:)
and i wonder...
what would the world be like if everyone were forced to focus on inner beauty? if outer beauty didn't EXIST? much better i'd bet.
i'm happy to hear your words of self acceptance and triumph over something so challenging. what an example.
i think you are amazing. and, i've learned so much from you. oddly, via blog, why didn't we know each other better when you just lived up the street?
ah, life.
you are beautiful inside and out my dear. beautiful.
One of my favorite nights in college was my roommate busting out her elemenary school dairy when she was a fat girl. We laughed and cried. I never really wondered how hard it would be until then.
ps, your brain is amazing. and we all know you are compassionate.
You make such a good point--as hard as stuff like that is, would you be the same person now if you had been your skinny self back then? Would you have ever considered marrying my brother? And that is the important point! I'm so glad to know you.
how awesome that you've overcome that. and now count that trial as a blessing. :) hopefully I can be as strong as you about some of my trials.
I think this post is a beautiful explanation of why trials, in the long run, are good to have. In retrospect, we can ALWAYS see the blessings!
You are the bomb.com, I love you for your brains and your body!
that sounded creepy, sorry.
I have a hard time imagining you chubby. You are so tiny and pettite!
I was just thinking this morning how having three kids (and breastfeeding, I might add) has totally made my body a train wreck...not looking forward to bathing suit season. (I guess watching the bio of Heidi Klum last night wasn't such a good idea.) I am still working on accepting my body for what it is, and being grateful for a body that was able to have three children.
I guess its a work in progress!
Ditto, Jill.
And ditto, Sonja—marrying Matt is like marrying the poor wand'ring one, if you know what I'm saying.
In re Acne, I've got a chicken or egg riddle for that. I tell Bry she should just let her skin regulate itself and not use acne medication. I think for most people the medication is the cause—not the cure. Why do most people who use acne medication have acne? Call me crazy, but I claim it's a conspiracy based on a vicious cycle of addiction.
Brittany - lovely post and up my alley. Sonja, Jon - you're lucky I'm not easily offended. And psychotic.
Ahh... acne. Those lovely insecure days in the fifteenth year of life... oh, wait, I'm there.
I wish acne were only in the 15th year of life. And Jon can talk about acne causing zits because he's never even had zits. I would like to hear your story too, Brittany.
Thank you for being such a great example to us all. I admire your strength and ability to always see the positive. You are beautiful!
Not much I love more in this world than my Bo.
I am awestruck by your amazingness! (no, I don't think it's a real word). I totally agree with you but could never have said it so beautifully.
Once again, interesting post by a great writer. I still can't picture you fat - especially 25 pounds fatter than a pregnant woman! But once again, you find the sunshine in adversity and inspire us all. Love you.
You are so amazing! I am also BFF's with my flabby abs!
I am your story in reverse. I'm not sure if I am too the blessings part yet, but your thoughts on it really were wonderful.
Oh, Brittany. I think your beautiful soul comes from much more than a perceived lack of outer beauty. Your post makes me smile even so :) And I was always jealous of your unruly curly hair!
I miss Fat Brittany sometimes. She took more crap from me than Skinny Brittany does, ie. losing at Mario Kart over and over, and being my rebounder outside on the basketball court. :)
See- it doesn't matter where we start, we all end up the same- with saggy skin, stretch marks, and cute kids. Someone should tell the highschool girls that!!
You are amazing Brittany.
Absolutely amazing.
But remember? You had chutzpah!
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