I suspect that being part of an in-law family is a little like being fluent in a second language. (I wouldn't know for sure since I speak only English fluently, but come along with me here.) It seems to me that you might enjoy the second language just fine; you may genuinely love speaking it and take pride in your skill; you even may prefer speaking it in certain circumstances or to express a particular idea because of nuances that can't be captured in English.
I know from experience that it's possible to be so comfortable and well-integrated into your in-law family that you forget you're not one of them. You adopt their mannerisms and phrases, their tastes, even their history (I tell my in-laws' family stories like they're mine and I was there, when for the most part they aren't and I wasn't!). You may even prefer the company of your in-laws when you find common interests that aren't shared by your own family.
But I imagine that even a fluent, comfortable speaker misses her native tongue and hurts for those familiar sounds in her ears, those syllables flowing so easily from her mouth -- the words she could form from the time before she has memories.
So it is that sometimes I miss the comfort of my "native" family. Not because they're better than my in-law family, but because they're more mine. They have memories of me before I even remember being me, so I see my whole life reflected when I'm with them. They speak my language, if you will. Because they were my family first. And since they don't have to move aside to make room for me there, I suspect they feel my absence more keenly.
Yes, straddling two languages can be painful. You find at times that you've forgotten the right word in both, or maybe you never learned it in either one. But I bet that anyone who knows a second language will tell you (I assume anyway --I'm not bilingual, remember?) that her world is richer for the knowing.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Aha.
My sister recently introduced me to a blog by a Christian writer/mom of three who writes about as beautifully and honestly as anyone I've ever read. One of her most recent posts took sides on a very controversial topic, and while her heart was absolutely in the right place, her doctrine was not.
At last count, there were 668 comments on the post from readers with varying viewpoints, many MANY of them Christians with different interpretations of the Bible. The comments were respectful but passionate, and everyone had a different explanation.
First of all, I was impressed. I was impressed that there are so many faithful people willing to sift and struggle through the Bible to make themselves scholars of it, all with the hope of honoring God, not offending Him, and learning His will for them.
But at close second, I was thinking. "I can't believe what these people don't know! They don't know about modern revelation like the Joseph Smith Translation that clarifies and enhances the Bible. They don't know how the Book of Mormon goes hand-in-hand with it to teach eternal truth. Most of all, they don't know that we have a prophet on the earth today so we never have to, as the blog's author put it, 'decide what parts of the Bible to prioritize and demonstrate in [our] lives.' "(She cited the Biblical scriptures that state women are not allowed to speak in church, wear jewelry, or leave their hair uncovered, ideas which are obviously not supported by modern Christian women. But I digress.)
It has been a long time since I have been part of a conversation like this one. I guess I had started to take my faith, my knowledge, for granted. These people were in real turmoil over the topic at hand, with nothing but their own genuine efforts and an imperfect translation of God's word to guide them. I realized afresh, and maybe for the first real time, what it means to me to know that a prophet speaks to God today. Think about that for a minute: You can know what God's priorities are for your life, not only through your personal relationship with Him but also through His chosen mouthpiece. Two witnesses. That is dazzling doctrine! I'm almost embarrassed to have gone so long without fully appreciating it.
At last count, there were 668 comments on the post from readers with varying viewpoints, many MANY of them Christians with different interpretations of the Bible. The comments were respectful but passionate, and everyone had a different explanation.
First of all, I was impressed. I was impressed that there are so many faithful people willing to sift and struggle through the Bible to make themselves scholars of it, all with the hope of honoring God, not offending Him, and learning His will for them.
But at close second, I was thinking. "I can't believe what these people don't know! They don't know about modern revelation like the Joseph Smith Translation that clarifies and enhances the Bible. They don't know how the Book of Mormon goes hand-in-hand with it to teach eternal truth. Most of all, they don't know that we have a prophet on the earth today so we never have to, as the blog's author put it, 'decide what parts of the Bible to prioritize and demonstrate in [our] lives.' "(She cited the Biblical scriptures that state women are not allowed to speak in church, wear jewelry, or leave their hair uncovered, ideas which are obviously not supported by modern Christian women. But I digress.)
It has been a long time since I have been part of a conversation like this one. I guess I had started to take my faith, my knowledge, for granted. These people were in real turmoil over the topic at hand, with nothing but their own genuine efforts and an imperfect translation of God's word to guide them. I realized afresh, and maybe for the first real time, what it means to me to know that a prophet speaks to God today. Think about that for a minute: You can know what God's priorities are for your life, not only through your personal relationship with Him but also through His chosen mouthpiece. Two witnesses. That is dazzling doctrine! I'm almost embarrassed to have gone so long without fully appreciating it.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Perfect Peter
That's what we're calling him at our house these days, because he really is the perfect baby. Eats well, sleeps well, rarely cries, and puts up with a lot of tough love:
The shot above and the next four are from a photo shoot
his Aunt Alisa did for us when he was two weeks old.
his Aunt Alisa did for us when he was two weeks old.
This one is from a couple of weeks ago...
And these are from a bath just today.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
On Christmas Cards and Guilt
You may have noticed (or not) that we didn't send Christmas cards this year. My excuse is that I just had a baby which, I'm finding, is a great excuse for a lot of things.
"Oh, you need volunteers for the blood drive? Sorry, I just had a baby."
"I'm not going to be able to wait in this long food line. Can I cut to the front? See, I just had a baby."
"You like my stretchy pants? I won't be wearing real clothes for a while, because I just had a baby."
"Honey, I'm going to nap while you wrangle the monkeys we call our offspring. I'm soooooo tired since I just had a baby."
Also, I was thinking today as I arranged for display the Christmas cards I have received (and this is with NO ill-will or finger-pointing to those who have sent them, just an observation as one who has sent and will continue to send such cards), "When did it become a tradition to send pictures of yourself to your friends and family for Christmas? Like this is your gift to them? Photos of you?"
In other words, "Oh, did you want a Christmas card from the Johnsons this year? So you could treasure a photo of me weighing more than I have in over a decade? Sorry, not going to happen. You see, I just had a baby."
"Oh, you need volunteers for the blood drive? Sorry, I just had a baby."
"I'm not going to be able to wait in this long food line. Can I cut to the front? See, I just had a baby."
"You like my stretchy pants? I won't be wearing real clothes for a while, because I just had a baby."
"Honey, I'm going to nap while you wrangle the monkeys we call our offspring. I'm soooooo tired since I just had a baby."
Also, I was thinking today as I arranged for display the Christmas cards I have received (and this is with NO ill-will or finger-pointing to those who have sent them, just an observation as one who has sent and will continue to send such cards), "When did it become a tradition to send pictures of yourself to your friends and family for Christmas? Like this is your gift to them? Photos of you?"
In other words, "Oh, did you want a Christmas card from the Johnsons this year? So you could treasure a photo of me weighing more than I have in over a decade? Sorry, not going to happen. You see, I just had a baby."
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Not the birth story
Since I didn't bore the blogosphere with details about my first two births, I'm not about to go ruining my record now. (Ironically, I love reading other people's birth stories.) Suffice it to say that Peter's was my roughest delivery yet, but only because he was posterior and I had to push more than five times. And the labor was only about three hours start to finish -- with a perfect epidural -- so I certainly won't complain!
In fact, complaining is about the last thing I ever want to do again. I can feel that my life is so good, and I can also feel it slipping through my fingers: when I watch Truman walk through the door to his preschool, too-big backpack slipping off of him; when I realize Caleb is so heavy I can hardly hoist him over the crib rail to put him down for a nap; when I try to remember what my older boys were like at Peter's age and the memories, so recent, are already dim.
I've cried blessed little since Peter was born, but in two- or three-minute bursts it comes out. Motherhood will break your heart, one way or another. There is a certain anguish in loving a little person so much and knowing that, in some ways, you will fail him. And with the addition of our third little boy, I feel sometimes like my heart might burst from loving him AND the other two so much -- and, lest I forget, the good good man I married. My love for him has grown with each baby too.
So, no birth story. But man, it's a good life.
In fact, complaining is about the last thing I ever want to do again. I can feel that my life is so good, and I can also feel it slipping through my fingers: when I watch Truman walk through the door to his preschool, too-big backpack slipping off of him; when I realize Caleb is so heavy I can hardly hoist him over the crib rail to put him down for a nap; when I try to remember what my older boys were like at Peter's age and the memories, so recent, are already dim.
I've cried blessed little since Peter was born, but in two- or three-minute bursts it comes out. Motherhood will break your heart, one way or another. There is a certain anguish in loving a little person so much and knowing that, in some ways, you will fail him. And with the addition of our third little boy, I feel sometimes like my heart might burst from loving him AND the other two so much -- and, lest I forget, the good good man I married. My love for him has grown with each baby too.
So, no birth story. But man, it's a good life.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Peter Jens Johnson
He has a name! I am sure Brittany will post details about the delivery soonish. Here are some newer pictures.
Monday, November 28, 2011
New Baby Johnson
We are pleased to announce the birth of our third boy (name still to be determined). He was born at 2:27 pm, was 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long. He and Brittany are doing great. Check out his hairy back and arms.
-matt
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