Post-op

Matt had his gall bladder out on Monday (full of stones, but no one knew that until it was out!), and I just can't keep his coming-out-of-anesthesia loopiness to myself. I wrote the quotes at the time through hysterical laughter and nervous tears since he was SO out of it. Our only regret is that we didn't video any of the fun!

This is more or less the way that first little while out of surgery went:

Nurse: "Matt, are you feeling nauseous?"
Matt: (furrowed eyebrows, clearly confused) "I don't know. Are you feeling nauseous?"
Then he noticed me. "How long was it?"
Brittany: "The surgery? From the time I left you until this minute was an hour and a half."
M: "Not 15 minutes? So we had a bad doctor? I want apple juice."
B: "I don't think you can have any yet. Do you want some water?"
M: "I want apple juice, Shaun the Sheep, and the iPad."
B: (laughing, since these are the items Caleb requests every morning when he wakes up) "Do you know who else likes those things?"
M: "YOU?!"
B: "Nope, Caleb."
M: "Caleb who?"
B: "Caleb our son."
M: "Oh, where is he?"
B: "At our house, with your mom."
M: "I want apple juice."
B: "I think you have to wait for that. Do you want some water?"
M: "If it has apples in it!"

I got him some apple juice.

M: "I want to cough, but I think it'll hurt. Why don't you cough?"
B: cough cough "Did that help?"
M: "No. My feet are sweaty."
B: "Let me take your socks off."
M: "Well now they're cold. Did you say they gave me some pain medicine?"
B: "Yeah, morphine."
M: "Did you get some morphine?"
B: "Nope, I wish!"
M: "Where are our kids?"
B: "With your mom, at our house."
M: "Do I have to have this thing on?" (shaking the oxygen monitor on his finger)
B: "Yeah, I think we better leave it on."
M: "It's bugging me. Can I move it?"
B: "To where?"
M: "To you?"
B: "No, I think it better stay on you."
M: "How long was it?"
B: "An hour and a half."
M: "Did you say she gave me some medicine?"
B: "Yeah, a couple of times now."
M: "I don't believe it. Not for one second. He wasn't kidding when he said this would hurt."

The nurse said he could have some oral pain meds if he could keep down some food.

Nurse: "So, what can I get you? Crackers, applesauce...?"
M: "I guess I can't have a double cheeseburger?"
N: "No. I'll bring applesauce and crackers."

After one cracker Matt wanted some oral meds. The nurse said he couldn't have any until the applesauce was gone.

M: "She is a hard taskmaster."
B: (Spoonfeeding applesauce) "Two more bites."
M: "You said two bites like nine million bites ago!"
B: "There, done."
M: "Where'd my socks go?"
B: "I took them off. You want 'em back on?"
M: "No. But I am done with this thing." (shaking the offending oxygen monitor again) "Who do I see about getting this thing off? Can I put it on you?"
B: "No I think we better leave it."
M: "How many stones?"
B: "I can see a dozen in the picture."
M: (Looking at the picture of his gall bladder on a tray) "That is yucky. Those stones are GROSS."

Nurse came in with some Lortab.

Nurse: "How's your pain now, on a scale of 1 - 10?"
M: "I've never had a broken femur before. How long was the surgery?"
B: "An hour and a half."
M: "How many stones?"
B: "A dozen."
M: "That is so yucky."

There was a lot more asking about the kids, the length of the surgery, the oxygen monitor, and complaining about the yucky stones. Thankfully, that stuff wears off, and he's recovering nicely. The pain has been getting a little better each day, and he's still planning on teaching starting Tuesday, even. Thanks to all for your prayers and concern.